The words are the most powerful tools that created by man!
If you talk negatively, it will hurt you, it will discourage you, and it will weaken you. If you talk positively, it will heal you, it will encourage you, and it will strengthen you. Your word will be made flesh. That is why you need to choose the right word to speak.
Here are 5 ways to help you to choose your words wisely:
1. Speak with the end in mind!
The famous Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective people. His second habit is Begin With The End In Mind. It is about knowing who you want to be by visualized it clearly. It starts with the mental creation and the next thing is the physical creation of what you visualized. This is where the right use of the word is significant as it is a form of communication. By doing so, it allows you to develop a conversation that moves you toward your desired goal.
When you want to speak and voice out your opinion, identify your desired goal. You need to ask yourself; “What am I trying to achieve?” before entering the conversation. Once you know what you want, choose your words and sentences that will inspire the desired result.
Tips: Ask yourself, “What am I trying to achieve?” before you speak in every single conversation!
2. Feed your mind with positivity!
Zig Ziglar famous quote, “You are what you are and you are where you are because of what has gone into your mind. You change what you are and you change where you are by changing what goes into your mind” You have to take action to feed your minds with positivity! There are two ways to do this.
First, you should is to invest 15 to 30 minutes in a day for every day of your life to fill your mind with positivity. You can read, listen, watch and one of my favorite one share to your friends. Pick up a book on personal development. I highly recommend Over the Top by Zig Ziglar. Listen to audiobook or podcast. There is multiple choice of audio to choose! At the moment, I am listening to The Secret to Success by Dr. Eric Thomas and The GaryVee Audio Experience. If you like visual, hit the search button on YouTube! One of my favorite youtube channels is Goal Cast and Team Fearless! Please check them out! Then, you need to share it with a friend and have the discussion on the positive thought and idea. This will reinforce and burn on your mind.
The second method is to have self-talk. Self-talk can have a great impact on your well-being as a person. It can be positive or negative and have different effects on how you feel. This is my self-talk card. It is from the book Over the Top by Zig Ziglar. Again, spend some time to read the self-talk card DAILY! It will change your program your mind.
Tips: Start your day every morning reading out loud the self-talk card. It takes only less than 5 minutes and you got 1440 minutes in a day.
3. Practice the Pause!
One of my favorite taglines, Boys react. Men respond. I got this from the Dr. Eric Thomas. It required an enormous amount of self-awareness, especially on your emotional intelligence. When you got angry, sad, depressed, stress and in doubt, take a deep deep breath and pause for 5 seconds. Begin asking yourself, “What am I trying to achieve?”, “What is the right thing to say?” or “What is the right thing to do?” By asking the question, it allows you to look at the situation objectively. Believe me, when you speak with an imbalance emotion you will regret it. Most of the time, the words that you voiced out can never be taken back. Practice the pause with a deep breath!
Lori Deschene describes it very well, Practice the pause. Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you’re about to react harshly, and you’ll avoid doing and saying things you’ll later regret.
Tips: When you are in an intense conversation, take a deep breath, pause and think. If you still feel the tension, retreat and come back another time once you are calm.
4. Saying Thank You!
Expressing gratitude by saying thank you is a simple gesture, yet a powerful impact on other people life and also to your own well being. Practicing saying thank you to everyone, especially to the people who support you daily. These kinds words are always appreciated. In return, you receive the positive and happy feeling. The feeling will empower your well-being to be a better person.
5. Make a Commitment!
You need to understand that choosing the right word in a conversation is always a choice. Using the right tone is always a choice. It is the consequence of the choice you cannot choose. You need to make a commitment to express the right positive word. First, you need to do is no complaining anything or anyone, including yourself. Secondly, no gossiping! Thirdly, no negative thought especially about other people and yourself. Finally, mix with the right group of friends that will empower you. Trust me it will challenge to find the right friends but it is possible. Remember to make it a requirement of yourself. Believe me, you will see the bright side of things with no complaining, no gossiping, and no negative thought. It will positively change your perspective.
What you feed your mind determines your appetite.~Tom Ziglar
You can use the T.H.I.N.K formula below before you begin to speak. As long the answer is Yes for all the following question, then you can voice out your opinion.
T – Is it True?
H – Is it Helpful?
I – Is it Inspiring?
N – Is it Necessary?
K – Is it Kind?